Do you get to the end of the day and feel like you are exhausted from being polite to angry customers, go home and you have nothing for your loved ones?
You are not imagining it. In 1983, *Arlie Hochschild termed the phrase “Emotional Load” to describe having to regulate feelings and expressions.
For example, research shows that Call Centre staff are expected to appear cheerful and welcoming, even when their work is demanding, boring, exhausting, tedious and stressful.
Have you used up all your niceness? If you imagine you have a bucket of niceness at the start of the day, and you believe dealing with others can deplete your supply, you are in danger of going home with an empty bucket.
That was true for Sarah:
“I’m noticing lately I’m taking my frustration home with me and I’m grumpy at my partner – it’s not his fault. I go home and unload my day onto him, and I’m not very nice about it. It’s like I’ve used up all my niceness at work and he gets what’s left – which is pretty much nothing. I used to go to the gym after work but lately, I’m just too exhausted.
The pattern is, I get home, get into my PJs and open a bottle of wine. Then I tell my partner all about what a horrible day I had and I lie in bed thinking about what a horrible day I had.
The next morning I drag myself out of bed and go to work and act like I’ve got it together. Repeat.”
When you learn to be more Unshakeable, you have more confidence in your ability to choose how you respond to angry customers.
Confidence “Unshakeable” Scale Diagram – © Sue Anderson 2018
The Unshakeable formula
When someone is Shakeable, they believe others can take away their power to choose how they respond. They believe they have a limited amount of niceness and that angry customers can ‘take it away’.
Those who are Unshakeable know that they always have a choice in how they respond and their supply of niceness is unlimited. They know the Unshakeable formula and how to apply it when dealing with angry customers.
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