Do you have a cultural norm of ‘Nice and polite’?
Watch this video ☝️
If you know me or have participated in any of my Feedback Fitness workshops, you have probably guessed I’m a huge Brene Brown fan. She holds a PhD in Social Work, which makes her Dr. Brené Brown. She is also a Research Professor at the University of Houston.
The main reason is that her work is research-based. She doesn’t just make statements about leadership, she uses a research methodology called Grounded Theory. She has used this extensively in her studies on vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy. The real stuff that makes leaders… HUMAN.
As a leader, you might be interested in a study she describes in her most recent book, Strong Ground, by Brene Brown https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Strong-Ground-Audiobook/B0FM84BNCS
In a study with global CEOs, Brene Brown asked them:
‘What if anything, about the way people are leading today needs to change in order for leaders to be successful in a complex, rapidly changing environment where we are faced with seemingly intractable challenges and an insatiable demand for innovation?’
The answer, across all the participants: ‘We need braver leaders and more courageous cultures’.
Brene asked: ‘What were the specific problems that CEOs believed increased courage could help address?’
The Number One Answer:
‘We avoid tough conversations, including giving honest, productive feedback. ’
Some leaders attributed this to a lack of courage, others to a lack of skills.
Shockingly, more than half talked about a cultural norm of being nice and polite that is leveraged as an excuse to avoid tough conversations.
Whatever the reason, there was saturation across the data that the consequence of not having tough and productive conversations included:
A lack of clarity.
A decrease in trust and engagement.
An increase in problematic behaviour, including passive-aggressive behaviour, talking behind people’s back, meetings after meetings, gossip and the dirty yes.
Step Forward with Courage
You don’t need to be perfect to lead powerful feedback conversations—you just need to be courageous enough to begin. Every time you choose to lean into that awkward moment, ask a curious question, or offer useful feedback, you build your Feedback Fitness and model the kind of leadership our future demands.
You might like to ask yourself, are there any feedback conversations you’ve been avoiding? What’s holding you back?
Sing out if I can help you step into your courage.
