Feedback & Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
RSD - How Leaders Can Help
Feedback is such a juicy topic. What I mean by that is, there is so much to it, and every day I’m learning more factors that impact feedback conversations.
I was recently delivering a Feedback Fitness workshop - and during a break, a participant shared her powerful (and often invisible) barrier to confident conversations at work: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). I’d never heard of it, so I thought it might be useful for other leaders.
Here’s what I learnt when I followed up and interviewed that participant (let's call her Alex) about her thoughts on RSD, feedback, and what she wished more leaders knew.
💡 What is RSD?
RSD is a heightened emotional sensitivity to real or perceived rejection. It’s most commonly associated with ADHD, but even people without an official diagnosis may experience elements of it.
How Alex described it:
“A feedback comment can feel physically painful. A comment that might not phase someone else can spiral me into shame, withdrawal, or black-and-white thinking like, ‘They must hate me.’ Even when it’s not actual rejection—just a perceived rejection on my part.”
🧭 What is important about Leaders Understanding RSD
Alex shared that if you are a leader and if someone on your team experiences RSD, traditional feedback conversations—especially unprepared or evaluative ones—can cause distress or disengagement, even when your intention is supportive.
Leadership Lessons from Alex:
Alex shared her experience navigating feedback and RSD in the workplace:
Perceived rejection hits hard. “A colleague didn’t invite me to their party. I spent weeks wondering what I did wrong.”
Overwhelming positive feedback can be undone by one critical comment. “Two colleagues called my email campaigns annoying, and I stopped them altogether—even though the majority loved them.”
Silence feels like rejection. “When a task I usually handled was reassigned without context, I spiralled into self-doubt and this lasted for days. A clear explanation would have made a huge difference.”
Alex’s experience with her Leader:
Alex was kind enough to share with me that she was also diagnosed with ADHD, and just as people experience ADHD differently, they can also experience RSD differently. She outlined how her leader supported her when she shared her diagnosis with him:
Her leader was curious when she shared her diagnosis. Once trust was built, honest conversations opened the door to better collaboration.
Her leader committed to explaining decisions directly affecting her with clarity and context. When decisions are explained, Alex’s mind doesn’t fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios.
Warm-up conversations were super helpful. “Knowing what to expect, how feedback will be offered, and how I can respond—makes all the difference.”
🛠️ What Leaders Can Do
1. Ditch the surprise.
Don’t start with “Can we talk?” Instead, use warm-up language that builds psychological safety.
2. Offer feedback with empathy.
Be clear, be kind, and avoid vague statements that leave room for interpretation.
3. Allow space for emotion.
People with RSD can sometimes have physical responses that are outside of their control. Tears don’t mean disengagement. Let your team member know it’s okay to feel and still keep the conversation going if they feel comfortable to do so.
4. Ask: “What helps you receive feedback best?”
Each person’s needs are different. Invite them into the process during the Warm Up conversation.
5. Do your own research.
If someone you lead shares their RSD or ADHD diagnosis, take time to understand their experience of it. You don’t need to be an expert—but you do need to care.
💬 Final Thought
RSD doesn’t mean the person can’t handle feedback—it means they might need it offered differently. The Warm Up conversation is a great place to discuss how, as a leader, you can best support someone with RSD in your feedback conversations. As always, begin with trust, empathy, and the right structure.
Want to explore how to apply the Feedback Fitness Framework to neurodiverse teams? Let’s talk.
📧 sue@sue-anderson.com.au
📞 0417 052 739
