If you are a leader, you might have read Brene Brown’s fabulous book, Dare to Lead.
In the book, she calls us out about avoiding and withholding feedback because it might make us feel uncomfortable.
Here is what she has to say about feedback:
‘Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind. Sometimes speaking the truth feels like we are being unkind, especially when sharing difficult information or feedback. But in reality, dancing around the truth is unkind. When we avoid stating the truth – when we are vague or ambiguous under the guise of being kind – it is often because we are trying to lessen the discomfort for ourselves, not for the other person.’
I was listening to a podcast of hers and I felt like she called me out again!
‘To not give people feedback, to not be truthful, to not do the hard coaching that we have to do as leaders, because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings is kind of bullshit. We are hiding behind that to minimize our own discomfort. And there’s nothing more devastating for people than not getting feedback. When I don’t give you feedback for growth, it’s almost like I’m saying to you, “I don’t believe that you can get better, or stronger, or be a better leader. It’s not worth my time.” And that’s hard.’
Ouch! She certainly is clear!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you dance between being clear and kind when offering feedback?